Lonely Days

Have conference with some of my friends yesterday. though i dun have the mood to do so but i still try to.. 1 of them actually make me down as he says something that really hurt me.. he ends up singing the song that we compose together and make me feel better.. i dunno what to do.. Mood is actually spoil but i still try to smile and laugh.. I feel that i am so fake now. trying to maintain happy for other people's thinking. alot of things happen to make me feel very lonely now.. i used to meet up with 2 friends for dinner every night. Even if they was any outing 3 of us will always be together.. now things are different.. i am kinda of alone now.. i miss out alot..

Seriously, i really do miss them.. they were those people who will talk to me and accompany me when i am down.. now they are kinda of gone.. Today, i am suppose to go to sentosa with some of my friends and some people who might have some misunderstanding with me.. but in the end i didn't turn up because i could not sleep well yesterday and it made me wake up late this morning.

I did say that i will tried to meet them for dinner.. now i message them and no one reply me.. i feel kinda of down. why things turn out to be in this way.. ? is it because i put my emotion on my face.. human will do that when come to some sad stuff..  i will also tends to keep quiet and give no emotion to ppl when i am boring or tired. It end up, people think that i am a scary person and boring person.. Boycott me.. why i can't have any emotion or sad emotion on my face.. i am a human.. why can't i do that.. is it because i dun suit to be a human..

Things end up in this ways really make me feel like ending my life.. i keep on doing lots of work to make my mind occupy and not think about it.. but i just can't take it.. when can all this ends.. so many people tends to leave me alone.. i feel like i am a freaking bastard that no one wants to hang around with.. why things end up like that..