Things SCREW up

It had been a few days after the last entry. My mother is better and we went to the hospital for medical checkup. The doctor says that she was perfectly alright. One thing that happens to me was that I did not have any mood to do anything which was cause by my mother.

She had been using all sorts of method to stop me from going to Malaysia with my friends. It had always been the case when I said that I will like to go oversea for holiday with my friends. She will tell me that Malaysia is not save this and that. She had been trying to stop me from making my own choice. Sometimes parents always like to say that what they do is for our own good. Unfortunately, it had caused me a big time of unhappiness. I felt that I am like a small kid. I am already 20 years old turning 21 next year and I am still been treated like a kid.

I need to be independent. I felt so ashamed if she asks me to tell my friends that she didn’t allow me to go. I had been so frustrated that really spoil all my moods to study. Sometimes I asked myself, why I must study so hard. The only answer that came to my mind was that I am studying for my mother. I had no room for myself. I felt that I am like a puppet controlled by her. What should I really do ?